Experiments of a Bored Detective
by Turn Back Now
Summary: L is bored. So what do he do? He puts a deranged serial killer, an FBI agent, an obsessive gamer, and a normal little girl all in a house together for six months, just for giggles. What could possibly go wrong? Slightly AU-ish, no pairings
1. The victims, I mean, subjects

**WOOT! I was bitten by a plot bunny while I was supposed to be finishing up a math test which I still haven't finished. So I wrote it out on paper for once, typed it up on my grandpa's computer, and uploaded it here. ^-^ And yes, I did screw up everyone's ages, but calm down, it was for the sake of FanFiction. This was inspired by the fact that I'm currently wearing a Beyond Birthday wig (Which I refuse to take off), my little sister and my mom look like Sayu Yagami and Naomi Misora, and my brother acts like Matt (Without the smoking part.) Enjoy the randomness!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note. I'm just bored beyond belief.**

One day, L Lawliet was bored. And I mean _really _bored. Heaven forbid the Greatest Detective in the World have nothing to amuse himself. So he had his butler, Watari, set up a little experiment for him. L wanted to know what would happen if you put four completely different, unrelated people in a house together for six months.

The first person he chose was a fourteen year old serial killer, Beyond Birthday. He had short, shaggy black hair that looked a lot like L's, and crimson red irises. He was emotionally unstable as well as violent, clever, imaginative, a bit demented, and altogether a rather happy person. His favorite food was strawberry jam.

The next was Naomi Misora, a young woman with long dark hair and grayish eyes. She was an FBI agent on leave of absence for reasons she didn't like to talk about. She was rather calm most of the time, intelligent, and fairly optimistic. She was also thinking of quitting the FBI to get married to her fiancé Raye Penbar.

Third chosen was one of L's very own successors, Mail Jeevas, better known as Matt. He was also known for his obsessive videogame playing, love of striped shirts, and orange tinted goggles on at almost all times. He was probably the second smartest out of the four chosen, despite only being eleven. Matt was probably also the most laid-back out of them all as well.

Up last was Light Yagami's little sister, Sayu Yagami, only nine. She was a normal little girl, dark hair, brown eyes, and a sweet personality. Why L chose _her_ was unknown. But truthfully it was just to get Light upset for kidnappi--borrowing his baby sister for a couple months. Mr. and Mrs. Yagami were more than happy to volunteer her for an experiment set up by the World's Greatest Detective.

Three and a half hours after L sent to request to the butler, most of the victim-- I mean, subjects, were now sitting down in a small, cramped room in front of a laptop with a large, calligraphic 'L' in a fancy Old English font on it. And by most, I mean the FBI agent, the gamer, and the little girl.

They were having some problems getting the killer in the room. ("I refuse to go down without a fight!" He has screamed, biting Watari on the arm.)

Finally, he was in a straightjacket and strapped to a chair so he and the others could listen to why they had been summoned here.

"I'm assuming that none of you know why you are here, correct?" Asked a computerized voice being emitted from the laptop.

They all nodded, except for the killer, who happened to get bored at that second.

"OOH! OOH! I KNOW!!" He said brightly, grinning from ear to ear. "We're all here because we've been chosen to go to outer space and make contact with the Evil Donut-Chihuahua aliens from Saturn!" He announced proudly.

Everyone deadpanned, staring at him. Was this guy _insane_ or something?!

The electronic voice was silent for a few more seconds. "Beyond, you haven't been taking your medication every day, have you." L said. It sounded less like a question than a statement.

The killer shook his head, still beaming.

"… Anyway…" He continued. "You've all been chosen for a special experiment that could change the way we all live in the future. Think of it as helping the whole world." He lied. Truthfully, he was only doing this for his own sheer entertainment.

The little girl, Sayu, raised her hand. "Ummm, what kind of experiment is this, exactly?" She asked uncertainly.

Here L gave a small chuckle. "All four of you are going to live together for the next twenty-four weeks." He told them.

The FBI agent's eyes widened until they looked like they were going to pop out of her head. The gamer didn't even look up from his DS. Sayu looked over at Beyond nervously, and said murderer started cackling maniacally.

"Now I'll leave you four to get acquainted." The voice said, and the screen went black. Unbeknownst to the group, however, he left the video camera on.

There was a slightly awkward silence, until the killer got sick of it and decided to break it. "Soooo…" He started. "When am I getting out of this nice little jacket here?" He asked uneasily, starting to get a tad claustrophobic in the small room.

"Probably never." The gamer said, not even looking up at him, just concentrating on his game, occasionally muttering things to himself.

The FBI agent just sighed and turned to the younger girl. "Please tell me that we're the only sane people here?" She begged/

Sayu smiled. "Don't worry about it, they're just guys. They only seem crazy. I'm Sayu Yagami, by the way." She said in a friendly manner, holding out her hand.

"Nice to meet you. I'm Naomi Misora." Naomi answered, shaking her hand.

"Really guys, I'd like to get out of this." Beyond said, fidgeting. But his words fell on deaf ears, as the girls had struck up a random conversation and the boy, Matt, couldn't even tear his eyes away from his DS for a half of a second. He finally lost his temper and let out an animalistic cry. "LEMME OUT OF THIS THING!" He shouted.

All attention turned to him at once. He looked at the group with pleasing puppy eyes. They had to admit, for a killer, he was actually kinda cute.

Naomi rolled her eyes and stood up to help him. "Fine…"

The computer momentarily turned back on. "I'd advise you not to do that, Misora-san." The electronic voice warned her, and the screen went blank again.

Naomi sat back down.

Beyond growled and started rocking the chair back and forth in agitation. "I've decided I hate you all…" He said darkly.

Ten minutes later, L switched the laptop back on. "Everyone finished getting to know each other then?"

The group half nodded and there was a mutter of '_Unfortunately…' _from Beyond.

"Good. Now, if you don't mind, Watari will take you all to the house you'll be sharing for the next six months." He said. An old man in a trench coat and a funny hat walked into the room and ushered them all out, keeping hold on Beyond's straightjacket in case the killer decided to make a run for it.

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**Sooo..... should I continue this? Or ditch the idea? It's all up to you guys. This was thought up, written, and posted in the span of an hour, so don't blame me if it sucks.**

**Review so I know whether or not to keep writing, because I'm nothing without you guys. :D**


	2. Arriving

**Here's chappie two since I got so many comments and favorites in one day! :D It sucks, and it's short, but enjoy nonetheless! :D Oh, and this chapter's basically just about the car ride and their first impression of the house, sorry if it's boring and/or disappointing in the humor category.**

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Naomi Misora, Beyond Birthday, Mail Jeevas, and Sayu Yagami all sat in a long black limo, the two females trying as hard as they could to stay as far away as humanly possible from the fourteen year old killer.

Beyond just sat there, glaring harshly at everything that made eye contact with him, including some of the seats, a dog on the sidewalk, and a streetlight that happened to turn yellow when he wanted it to turn orange with lavender polka dots. He was not in a good mood, to say the least. First being forcefully ripped from his private abandoned warehouse and sent (in a straightjacket, mind you) to some creepy room just to find out he was supposed to stay with a bunch of crazy people for the next half a year. He squirmed a bit, hoping the bindings would magically come loose and he could escape, possibly murdering these three weirdoes and the guy that put him in said bindings. But his efforts were in vain. He swore under his breath, returning to glaring at things.

Matt didn't particularly care, in fact, it didn't even seem that he realized what was going on, or that he was being used as a guinea pig in the World's Greatest Detective's little game. He just focused on his DS, intent on winning the last four levels of his game.

Naomi seemed calm about the subject, but was mentally freaking out so bad that if she actually did what she was doing in her mind, she'd be sent to the nearest insane asylum. _'How could I be stuck with these people!'_ She thought. _'Sayu and Matt are fine, but that Beyond guy… I don't even think I, or anyone else for that matter, will survive this six months!'_

And at last, Sayu's thoughts on the subject. _'Wow! This is so cool! But Beyond is scary… But this is going to be so fun! The World's Greatest Detective sent us all here! Oh my gosh, this is so exciting! I wonder what kind of house we'll be staying at! This is going to be awesome! I'm so excited!'_

Always the optimist of the situation.

"Matt," The FBI agent started, curious about the boy's unrevealed personality. He looked up, staring through the orange tinted goggles.

"If you're going to ask me a question about me or make a comment about my appearance or attitude, don't waste your breath." He said, looking back at his game and going back to completely ignoring everyone.

Naomi exhaled. That kid's too smart to be eleven. She turned back to Sayu, pointing inconspicuously at both boys and twirling a finger near the side of her head in a silent 'They're both insane' gesture. She winced and nodded, mouthing 'I can tell'.

"HEY QUILLISH!" Beyond suddenly shouted. The car almost stopped, as if he had shocked the driver. He should've, that was Watari's real first name, which was very, _very_ hard to obtain information. "Are we there yet?!" He yelled. Ah, that age old car-ride question. But Watari ignored Beyond's loud repeating of said question and continued driving. But I think it was obvious enough when he pulled over five minutes later and opened the doors for them.

Beyond had a slightly difficult time getting out of the middle seat of the limo with a straightjacket on.

But eventually, they were all standing outside of the rather large three story house. It was a slightly faded brown color, and each floor was slightly smaller than the one beneath it. In general, the side view of the house would look like three giant steps The roofs were all pointed, and it seemed that the ceilings followed suit with that as well. The farthest wall from the front door, on the bottom floor, was 75% window and 25% wall. The top floor, the smallest, also had a small loft at the top, about the size of a twin mattress. You could see it through the . They walked into the house to find that it was fully furnished.

The foyer had a keyboard in it. A fancy Yamaha one. It was right next to the door and below a window. A few feet away and to the right of the stairs was a bookshelf with several classics and encyclopedias and dictionaries on it. A large mahogany almost-U-shaped-but-square-edges desk was the main attraction of the room, however. On it was a computer, a printer, a telephone/fax machine, and several other appliances. There were cabinets attached to the desk, but they were empty, save a phone book or two.

The computer suddenly switched on.

'Hello." A familiar, computerized voice greeted them. L. Beyond groaned, leaning against the mirror/sliding closet doors next to the front door. L ignored that. "Here's the house you'll be staying in for the duration of the experiment. Don't break it, it's not mine." This slightly shocked everyone.

"Wait, then who does it belong to?" Naomi asked.

"Oh just a normal family. Nine year old daughter, eleven year old son, thirteen year old daughter, thirty-one year old mother. Perfectly fits your requirements." He answered.

Beyond frowned. "What was that about a thirteen year old girl? The rest of them are replacing someone their age and gender, but I'm not a thirteen year old girl!" He said, stamping his foot.

"Well, you sure act like one." He whispered to himself. "But don't worry, just because you're getting her room doesn't mean I think you're fit to replace a slightly younger female. Besides, I think I did a pretty good job choosing a house and family for you guys. And the girl who you're replacing is just as deranged as you are." He said.

"I'M NOT INSANE!" He yelled.

"She did that a lot too, when we told them about you four. But don't worry about them, they're on a six month cruise to the Bahamas and back, they only packed their most important posessions and all of their clothing, so you're left with whatever they didn't take. Just don't destroy anything, or you'll end up paying for it." He replied. They could almost hear the smirk he most likely had on. "Now I'll leave you all to settle down."

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**Yes, as a matter of fact, that is my house, and my family L was talking about. And that 'thirteen year old girl' was me. I just couldn't resist. XD And I had to rush this chapter, sorry for the suckiness. You may now pelt random bits of stale food at me... -Braces self- Review and tell me how horrible it was....**


	3. Soory people, AUTHORS NOTE

Sorry if I got any of you excited thinking I actually updated for once. ^-^"

HAHA! You guys thought I abandoned this baby, didn't you! Well, so did I. The plot bunny that bit me for it kinda died in a corner after being neglected for too long. ^-^" But fear not, I have found an heir to said plot bunny, and thus this fanfic shall continue! If I get any reviews begging me to, that is. I'm still in the process of trying to write it. :D  
Eh heh heh... yeah... eventually... I just need some motivation. Just please don't give me any death threats.

Anyway, sorry for the author's note, I'll have the next chapter up _eventually_. :3


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